I May Be An Archeological Dig


Crow Canyon--picture from Rates to Go Travel website

One of my friends was having a bad day today and said on her Facebook status that she needed a “do over”.  Later in the day I was at a retail store and the cashier was having a bad day and we laughed about how sometimes we just needed a “reboot” on the day.  I took it a bit farther and said there were times I just wanted a “reboot” on my body as well as my day!

So it got me to thinking.  About do overs and reboots and starting over. How many hours have I wasted on worrying about what I did or didn’t do?  How many hours have I whiled away wishing something had turned out differently?  How many hours have I spent thinking about how a different scenario would have played out if I had just changed one little thing about my day?  How many hours have I spent thinking and wishing I had said something differently?  Or maybe wishing I had just said something?   If I added all these up it would most likely be an astronomical number that I could not comprehend.

I don’t have the magical reboot button but I do have control over how much time I invest in regretting decisions.  What is done is done.  My brother in law, Carlton, has a hard time talking about the past when it involves difficult things.  I don’t think that this is unique to folks with Down Syndrome—I think it is difficult for all of us to confront difficult times in our past.  Carlton says “the past is in the past” and will not discuss it.  I have tried time and time again to have the discussion with him that the past is what helps create who we are today and that we build on the past but that is lost on him.  He just wants to forget it.   I understand that to some degree.

I also understand that I am who I am today because of choices and decisions and paths that I chose over the years.  I am like an archaeological dig—-the many layers of me are based on my experiences. When I think about that reboot button now I think that I would not want that because it would erase some of my layers.  And in my case—layers are good.  They are part of me.  There is the layer of innocence, the layer of discovery, the layer of excitement, the layer of insecurity, the layer upon layer of love and compassion, the layer of sadness and grief, the layer of joyfulness and the layer of satisfaction.  Today I am embracing my layers and invite you to embrace yours, too!

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Comments

  1. My life hasn’t been perfect and I’ve made some bad choices, but I agree with you, you can’t ignore the past. Each layer adds more character, good or bad 🙂

  2. I often say I want a do-over, but really, the bad choices and the mistakes we make, make us who we are….

  3. Good advice, and it’s probably good to remember that the decisions we can still make today, make us who we’ll be tomorrow.

    It was good to be reminded that the time spent “regretting” would be better spend trying to learn what to do better next time.

    • Thanks for the comment, Ann. I don’t pretend to have it all figured out but I do know what I have come to conclude for my own life and I do not want to have any regrets. A life lived with regrets is a life wasted, IMHO.

  4. Love the analogy!

  5. I think, we all feel this way at one time or another but like you said if we were able to get a do-over what would go missing. All the things that have happened to us, good or bad are a part of our make-up. I always say I try not to live with what if’s because there really is no point to it. It is what it is and it only matters how we deal with it and trying to make the best out of any given scenario. Yes, I’m a glass half full type person. 🙂

  6. I couldn’t agree with you more in all aspects. I have wasted time too playing the what if game. Now, I play it just is game and try to move along knowing it all is part of the path I’m on and the person I am meant to be. I don’t know all your layers, but the ones I’ve seen are pretty spectacular. Hugs!

    • Thank you, sweet Diane!!! I can look back in my life a lot of times and see where certain things that happened were preparing me for something to come down the road. Sometimes it makes it easier to accept things when you can see that it made a difference later on.

  7. This is beautiful, Beth Ann. I hadn’t quite looked at my life as an archeological dig, but all those layers of rock and dirt are there, creating a foundation. Good job!

  8. Gosh, Beth Ann, this is such an important message. This is how I feel about having developed bipolar disorder and the years spent (some might say “wasted”) when I was so, so sick. However, I wouldn’t have nearly the empathy I do today without that experience. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
    Hugs,
    Kathy

    • I think really difficult things like you have gone through really do show us what we are made of in the end. You can choose to let it ruin you or you can accept it and move on in the best manner that you can. Sometimes we really don’t have a choice but it seems as if you have dealt with your medical condition head on and know the steps that need to be taken to cope on the best level possible. Kudos to you for that. It can not be easy. That is an understatement. I do think our experiences shape us into who we are and continue to shape us so who knows what tomorrow will bring! Hugs back!

  9. I agrree 100 %. I’m not giving up one moment of it.

  10. This is a beautiful post Beth Ann! Sweet Carlton is on the right track! Too much time is wasted wishing and hoping the past was different. I love the concept of all of our layers. Even tho they may not be layers we would choose, they did help to make us the people we are now.

  11. Helen Brown says:

    I never thought of it as layers but I think I understand what you are saying. I just felt that no matter what I do, God has led me through and has a plan for me. So many things have happened that I never expected or asked for, but they happened–good and bad, and I have grown.

  12. The only thing I regret are some missteps I made in my young adulthood as I was learning what kind of person I was going to be. Some of my choices & the reactions to them have made me distrustful of some people. Even though it’s a part of me & shaped who I have become, I often wondered if I passed some of my distrust on to my daughter & whether my life would be different today. This is not something I spend a great deal of time on, mind you, but every once in a great while I wonder . . .

  13. I got a 404 error message trying to get to this post. I love your 404 page! I used your search feature and was able to get her and read this post. I’ve explored your website and love the teapots. I think I went to that same china shop in Victoria. Visiting from SITS. Enjoy your Day.

    • Hmmm…bad 404 message!! Hopefully it got itself fixed and I am so glad that you stuck with it and actually searched for it!! That is pretty awesome!!! Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment!!!

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